I love my wife for lots of reasons.
On most days I even appreciate her practical and common-sense clarity.
And about half of the time, I’m grateful for her willingness to nudge me out of fantasy land.
Yesterday I learned that 76% of all Americans use their smartphones, iPads, and other tablets while in the bathroom.
This fact astounded me and I thought I’d shock Cindy with my discovery.
“Can you believe it?” I asked. “What kind of knuckleheads are we turning into?”
“You ought to know,” she ricocheted, not sounding shocked. (Dang it!)
“Huh?” (my default response)
“You’re kidding me, right?” she replied. “What door is it I have to bang on every morning… to try and get you to turn your radio down?”
“That’s different,” I said. “I may be in the bathroom while listening to podcasts and ESPN, but I’m not using the bathroom, if you know what I mean.”
“Oh, don’t try your school double-speak with me.” she said. “Why do you think I bang on the bathroom door instead of opening it? I know you’re in there… and that’s about all I care to know. I don’t care whether you’re using the bathroom or not using the bathroom. Sheesh. All I’m asking is for you to keep the racket down when you’re in there.”
“Okay, fair enough.” I said, deftly transitioning to safer ground. “You can poke fun, but this 76% fact is one I’ve got to pass along. The use of mobile devices is exploding in all kinds of strange places. So hey… how’s it feel to know that your husband is actually in the majority on something?”
“It’s a first.” she agreed. “I’ll grant you that. ”